The Real You Was Pushed Away

Losing you meant letting go of my only friend.

Was it supposed to turn out like this or did somebody change our story along the way?

I lost a unique kind of love that only existed in the space we unknowingly created together.

A love that I’m afraid I’ll never get to feel again.

Letting the past live in the past wasn’t supposed to be this hard.

It’s just that I don’t know how much of these last years have even been real.

You’re here, you could come back if I let you in, but it still won’t feel like it used to.

I don’t mind that people change everyday.

But even your face has morphed into one that bears no resemblance to the spirit you’ve buried.

I had you memorized before every one of your best features was thrown away.

I’ve forgotten what you looked like before you cared so much about what other people think.

I miss how you used to feel: full of life, joy, promise.

I don’t know where that went or when it left.

It’s so easy now to fall back into you because I’m desperate to get it back.

Desperate to feel the version of you that you think is unlovable.

So, I keep ending all of our conversations the same way they begin.

Always more bitter than sweet because it’s just so disappointing every time.

I want to keep a part of you close that you cast away long ago.


 

Song: Oceans – Seafret

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