“I like you,” I shout at my empty computer screen. It doesn’t matter if you can’t hear me anymore, but it won’t stop me from declaring it as if I am just now realizing how I feel.
No, I’ve known it all along. It’s always been you.
I have never had very much confidence, and trusting people hasn’t been easy ever since my trust was shattered so long ago. Maybe I scared you off that way.
Still, I wish we said it all sooner. I wish I said it to your face. I wish you always knew that my heart could easily belong to you.
What a tragedy it is to fall for someone while you’re falling apart. I’m picking up all my pieces now and I swear my heart is almost whole again. Can that change anything?
Probably not, but that’s okay. I’ve changed my mind before. It may not have been with you, but I have changed my mind and no amount of convincing could change it back.
I understand that.
Just don’t condemn me for pushing you away…again. The first time was out of fear. I wish I wasn’t always so afraid. Look at how much it costs me.
Now, though, I don’t know what it is exactly. A little fear and a little heartbreak, I suppose. I need to protect myself too.
I never know what you think of me, if anything at all, and I guess that’s what scares me.
I know big confessions aren’t your style, but sometimes I wish you’d tell me what’s really on your mind.
Excuse the hopeless romantic in me. She gets a little carried away.
I promise that my heart is true. There are a thousand things I could say if you were here right now, but you aren’t and I’m learning how to deal with that.
I’ve tried to care less. Really, I have. However, my brain is connected to my heart and half the time I can’t tell which is which. I’m a heart-on-her-sleeve-open-book kind of girl and I just don’t know how to be anything different.
If I could only say one thing to you, I think I would choose, “I miss you.” I don’t know how I can miss somebody I never really had in the first place, but I also think you would understand the million ways in which it may be true.
You might see me as nothing short of annoying or odd for it, but I’d tell you the same thing time and time again.
Song: Enchanted – Taylor Swift
I’m trying out this different writing style that I’ve very recently fallen in love with. It feels very honest and conversational and that’s what I find so appealing. What do you guys think?