You Are Enough

One of my closest friends often tells me, both in admiration and out of concern, that I’m too nice. I let people walk all over me. I can’t stand up for myself or say what I’m really thinking because I’m too concerned with hurting somebody.

Personally, I disagree. I know I’ve done my fair share of damage. Which is why I refuse to do any more, even if it’s at my own expense.

However, there are times when I am eaten alive by thoughts of, “why?” Why wasn’t my best enough? Why can’t I get out what I put in to people? Why does it seem like almost everyone leaves once they get to know me? 

I have to force my mind to go other places, but it always drifts back to all the endless “why’s.” I’ll tell myself that I’m just having a pity party and it’s all a part of life and no matter what, God is on my side.

But it still stings.

What I am learning, and what I want to share, is that sometimes you’re not enough. Sometimes, you give something or somebody your absolute best, and it still amounts to nothing. Sometimes, people will tell you one thing and their actions tell you something entirely different. Sometimes, you are let down. And it has nothing to do with you.

Some things really are out of your control. As cliche as this expression may sound, you really do have to simply “give it to God.” When you have done all you can and you are at a loss for what else you can do, hand it over to God and ask for His help.

Most of the time, every situation in our lives requires effort on our part, but there are a few situations that will come up in which there is truly nothing you can do. It might take a little time and a lot of praying to figure it out, but you will know when to pass it to God and say, “there’s nothing more I can do, please help.” (As a side note, yes you should always give your problems to God, but I’m specifically referring to the times when you feel there is nothing you can do and you need Him to intervene, whatever that means for your personal situation).

A lot of the time, all you need to do is ask for help. It doesn’t matter what you ask for, as long as you ask, because you’ll never get anything otherwise. You just have to try. In the end, He will give you what you need. It might not be what you want, but it will be what you need. Unlike with people, who are inherently selfish and can only give you so much, your best interest is God’s concern 100% of the time.

So, even if you feel completely lost, confused, alone, whatever it is that you are feeling, you are never truly alone. God made you to survive, and He wants to help. He is on your side. Your emotions, what you’re going through (no matter how small it may seem), it all matters to Him. What you feel is never invalid, and no favor is too small or too big for God.



 

Let me know what you think!

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Book Review: The Negro Speaks Of Rivers 

This book is so short, an illustrated version of an old and well-known poem, but I couldn’t leave it at the library, despite already knowing the poem well. I had never appreciated it completely or truly thought about every verse like I wanted to. I had to digest the words fully, revisit them time and time again. For those three weeks, I consumed it a hundred times. The illustrations offered a visual, helping me truly understand the authors intention, but they stand beautifully on their own. I wanted to take every one of the pages out of the book and tape them to my wall so I can see them everyday. I can’t quite put my finger on why I think they’re so beautiful, but they hold some sort of magic that draws the viewer in. Maybe it’s the powerful meaning behind them. Maybe it’s the subtle details in each one. Maybe it’s the way Lewis captures emotion so well. Either way, the photos I took don’t do this book justice and I highly suggest giving it a look, especially if you have never read the poem before.

Poet: Langston Hughes

Illustrator: E. B. Lewis



 

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Poem: Mean Something

You must have been joking

When you thought you meant

Anything at all

Because people like you

Were only made to wonder

Why they were made

And why they can’t escape

The thoughts of people

Who mean something.



 

Instagram: todayithoughtthis, gabriellegillispie

Poem: Make Me Nothing

Erase it all;

Forget every breath,

Every word,

Every moment,

That ever came from me.

Erase it all;

Let me start over,

Or finish now,

So I can find home,

In something other than me.



 

Instagram: todayithoughtthis, gabriellegillispie

Poem: Walls

My mind is guarded

Like my heart learned to be.

Walls are built everyday

With constant new material.

I used to be fearless

But now it’s become a roadblock.

A lot feels like nothing

Because my pride is finally abundant.

Persistence means something

If the intention is true.



 

Instagram: todayithoughtthis, gabriellegillispie

Poem: Maybe I Am Nothing More

Maybe I am nothing more

Than a constant wonder

Of how to be enough.

Maybe I am nothing more

Than a culmination

Of everything I never will be.

Maybe I am nothing more

Than a destructive force

That can tear through anything.

Maybe I am nothing more

Than a feeling

That I’m told will pass.

Maybe I’m nothing more

Than what I have said

And not what I think.

Maybe I’m nothing more

Than staring blankly

And trying to make it better.

Maybe I am nothing more

Than what I’ve left behind

Because I wish it were different.

Maybe I am nothing more

Than what I fear

Because there is so much.

Maybe I am nothing more

Than another person

With nothing more to offer.